Kimpton Folk Festival 2016

I recently had the honour of attending Kimpton Folk Festival with my parents. We spent a wonderful day wandering around the village, listening to beautiful music, enjoying yummy food and relaxing in the sun.

Whilst there I took a couple of time lapses, and various videos, which I compiled into a quick vlog. The whole thing was made on iMovie on my iPhone, and I think it's a cute representation of how we spent the day, as well as the overall feel of the festival.

Kimpton Folk Festival ran for the first time this year, but if you are interested in attending next year then check out their website.

Virginity Is A Myth

Your flower; your v-card; your innocence; your virtue; your cherry.

As a teenager, virginity was a hot-topic. There were questions of who'd 'lost it', who still 'had it', your 'first time', whether it hurt, if you would bleed, when you should 'lose it', and so on. It was something that was really important to people, probably because we didn't have much else going on, to be honest. 

As the years went by, more and more people 'lost it', and the number of people in the 'virginity-less club' began to grow. Stories were told and shared, gossip was spread - "did you hear about the girl who bled everywhere on her mum's bed?", but people were still pretty uninformed on the whole topic.

Fast forwards several years and I am sat in a seminar all about virginity. Philosophy is super weird like that. Here we are, ten of us, mostly strangers, sat cramped in our lecturer's office, talking about what constitutes losing one's virginity. And honestly, I really had not put that much thought into it before that, so that's probably why the whole thing blew my mind.

So, what constitutes losing your virginity?

Give it a google (which I did in the library, and got many dirty looks), and you'll find that it's "the state of never having had sexual intercourse". But I'd say that's pretty vague. If we count virginity as only having had penetrative sex then is that not going to exclude the many people who don't have penetrative sex? Does that mean that if you're gay, and not having penetrative sex, you can't lose your virginity? Sex is a pretty broad term for a range of things. Plus, as my lecturer pointed out, once you have had sex there's still a heck of a long way to go before you've actually gone 'all the way'.

Me & my 'flour' courtesy of the banter of 2010. As I said, we didn't have much else going on.

It's completely down to society. Only fifty years ago the things that people saw as hella' perverted are freely accepted by people as normal now. And just as our views on perversions, and sex in general, change with the times, so do the views on virginity.

That's because virginity is a made up concept. It's a societal ideal which is imposed upon people. Virginity is not a thing. It's a myth. It does not exist other than in people's mind.

But, Taisha, I hear you cry, what about hymens? Aren't they a foolproof way of telling that virginity is not just all in our heads?

Excuse me while I scream internally.

Please, people. Look at the facts about hymens and stop spewing crap.

Fact #1: The hymen is not a physical barrier to the vagina. 

Fact #2: Hymens cannot break.

Fact #3: Your hymen will not break the first time you have sex, causing you to bleed.

Consider the hymen as a door frame, rather than the door. Hymens get worn away over time, from things as small as walking. The real cause of bleeding during sex, whether your first time or your 100th, is most likely poor lubrication, or other factors (and you should probably see a doctor if it keeps happening).

Both these mythical ideas about hymens and virginity perpetuate the idea that women should be chaste and that their sexuality is under the control of men. Where's the supposed surefire why of knowing whether a man is a virgin or not - oh wait, there isn't one? Wow, mindblowing.

So the next time you catch yourself thinking or speaking about virginity myths. CORRECT YO'SELF. Girls should not grow up believing that they should be in pain the first time they have sex, or that because they have had sex they are less worthy than people who have not. 

The decision on who you want to have sex with is totally up to you, and is no one's business (so long as you are both of age and consenting).

[Read more myths about sex in this buzzfeed article]

Stop Fetishizing My Race

As a mixed-race, liberal woman I have lots of things to be angry about. In fact, you can often find me ranting about this, that or the other. Life is unfair, more so for some than others, and every now and then I get pretty frustrated with that. Feminism and racism were things that were pretty alien to me until I started university, then all of a sudden I had so much to be mad about.

The thing that has really frustrated me recently, and also previously (I wrote a blog post regarding a similar issue back in February last year), is the fetishization of my race.

Yellow fever. [Noun]. The belief by Caucasian men that East-Asian women make better sexual lovers than other women, whilst at the same time have no meaningful presence in politics and popular culture.

In other words, when Caucasian men have a strong attraction to Oriental women because they believe that they will be good in the sack, sexually submissive and 'exotic', but good for not much else. 

Back in the day, when I was using dating apps like tinder, not a day went by when someone didn't mention that I looked as if I had an 'exotic' bloodline (?!), that they had not ever had sex with a Chinese girl (clearly an offer that I couldn't refuse), that I had 'big tits' for a Chinese girl, or that they only had sex with/dated Oriental girls (d'you want a medal m8?). Pretty sure my white friends don't get that kind of creepiness.

And I get it, I do. We're hot. Asian genes are great genes. No one ever believes my Mum when she tells them her age. But this is more than that.

It's not just that these guys are attracted to, I don't know... dark hair and more rounded faces. It's that they are taking the stereotype of Asian women and applying that to me, sexualising that thing, and then expecting me to be thrilled by that.

There is no way that I am a quiet, shy, obedient, coy and demure little girl, but that's who they're expecting me to be, purely because my mum's Chinese? Alright then.

It's stereotypes of Asian women, as innocent, child-like, powerless, mystical and submissive, that are perpetuated in things like anime, hentai porn, 'mail-order' brides and Japanese school girl costumes.

Unfortunately, Asian women are under represented in the west, and this means that the stereotypes are much harder to break. I can think of one film star (Lucy Liu, duh), one television programme with an Asian woman as a (non-stereotyped) main character (Fresh off the boat - it's amazing), and zero A-list celebrities that are Asian. Maybe that's because I'm not paying enough attention, but I don't think so, because I'd really love strong Asian women to look up to, but they just aren't supported by their industries or by the media.

Don't get me wrong - there are Asian women who perpetuate the stereotype too. They play up to idea that they are shy and need a sexual awakening. Some use it to help them find husbands in the west, others just want to be considered that way. I myself am guilty of it - I wore a bloody Japanese school girl costume for Halloween in 2013, along with lace stockings and a very low cut neckline. But I just wish I'd known better.

This problem is so much bigger than just the fetishizing of Asian women, that's clear to me. But that problem in particular is incredibly frustrating, and honestly, really disgusting.

[If you want to read more about 'yellow fever' click here to check out Yuan Ren's article for the telegraph].