Kimpton Folk Festival 2016

I recently had the honour of attending Kimpton Folk Festival with my parents. We spent a wonderful day wandering around the village, listening to beautiful music, enjoying yummy food and relaxing in the sun.

Whilst there I took a couple of time lapses, and various videos, which I compiled into a quick vlog. The whole thing was made on iMovie on my iPhone, and I think it's a cute representation of how we spent the day, as well as the overall feel of the festival.

Kimpton Folk Festival ran for the first time this year, but if you are interested in attending next year then check out their website.

Virginity Is A Myth

Your flower; your v-card; your innocence; your virtue; your cherry.

As a teenager, virginity was a hot-topic. There were questions of who'd 'lost it', who still 'had it', your 'first time', whether it hurt, if you would bleed, when you should 'lose it', and so on. It was something that was really important to people, probably because we didn't have much else going on, to be honest. 

As the years went by, more and more people 'lost it', and the number of people in the 'virginity-less club' began to grow. Stories were told and shared, gossip was spread - "did you hear about the girl who bled everywhere on her mum's bed?", but people were still pretty uninformed on the whole topic.

Fast forwards several years and I am sat in a seminar all about virginity. Philosophy is super weird like that. Here we are, ten of us, mostly strangers, sat cramped in our lecturer's office, talking about what constitutes losing one's virginity. And honestly, I really had not put that much thought into it before that, so that's probably why the whole thing blew my mind.

So, what constitutes losing your virginity?

Give it a google (which I did in the library, and got many dirty looks), and you'll find that it's "the state of never having had sexual intercourse". But I'd say that's pretty vague. If we count virginity as only having had penetrative sex then is that not going to exclude the many people who don't have penetrative sex? Does that mean that if you're gay, and not having penetrative sex, you can't lose your virginity? Sex is a pretty broad term for a range of things. Plus, as my lecturer pointed out, once you have had sex there's still a heck of a long way to go before you've actually gone 'all the way'.

Me & my 'flour' courtesy of the banter of 2010. As I said, we didn't have much else going on.

It's completely down to society. Only fifty years ago the things that people saw as hella' perverted are freely accepted by people as normal now. And just as our views on perversions, and sex in general, change with the times, so do the views on virginity.

That's because virginity is a made up concept. It's a societal ideal which is imposed upon people. Virginity is not a thing. It's a myth. It does not exist other than in people's mind.

But, Taisha, I hear you cry, what about hymens? Aren't they a foolproof way of telling that virginity is not just all in our heads?

Excuse me while I scream internally.

Please, people. Look at the facts about hymens and stop spewing crap.

Fact #1: The hymen is not a physical barrier to the vagina. 

Fact #2: Hymens cannot break.

Fact #3: Your hymen will not break the first time you have sex, causing you to bleed.

Consider the hymen as a door frame, rather than the door. Hymens get worn away over time, from things as small as walking. The real cause of bleeding during sex, whether your first time or your 100th, is most likely poor lubrication, or other factors (and you should probably see a doctor if it keeps happening).

Both these mythical ideas about hymens and virginity perpetuate the idea that women should be chaste and that their sexuality is under the control of men. Where's the supposed surefire why of knowing whether a man is a virgin or not - oh wait, there isn't one? Wow, mindblowing.

So the next time you catch yourself thinking or speaking about virginity myths. CORRECT YO'SELF. Girls should not grow up believing that they should be in pain the first time they have sex, or that because they have had sex they are less worthy than people who have not. 

The decision on who you want to have sex with is totally up to you, and is no one's business (so long as you are both of age and consenting).

[Read more myths about sex in this buzzfeed article]

Stop Fetishizing My Race

As a mixed-race, liberal woman I have lots of things to be angry about. In fact, you can often find me ranting about this, that or the other. Life is unfair, more so for some than others, and every now and then I get pretty frustrated with that. Feminism and racism were things that were pretty alien to me until I started university, then all of a sudden I had so much to be mad about.

The thing that has really frustrated me recently, and also previously (I wrote a blog post regarding a similar issue back in February last year), is the fetishization of my race.

Yellow fever. [Noun]. The belief by Caucasian men that East-Asian women make better sexual lovers than other women, whilst at the same time have no meaningful presence in politics and popular culture.

In other words, when Caucasian men have a strong attraction to Oriental women because they believe that they will be good in the sack, sexually submissive and 'exotic', but good for not much else. 

Back in the day, when I was using dating apps like tinder, not a day went by when someone didn't mention that I looked as if I had an 'exotic' bloodline (?!), that they had not ever had sex with a Chinese girl (clearly an offer that I couldn't refuse), that I had 'big tits' for a Chinese girl, or that they only had sex with/dated Oriental girls (d'you want a medal m8?). Pretty sure my white friends don't get that kind of creepiness.

And I get it, I do. We're hot. Asian genes are great genes. No one ever believes my Mum when she tells them her age. But this is more than that.

It's not just that these guys are attracted to, I don't know... dark hair and more rounded faces. It's that they are taking the stereotype of Asian women and applying that to me, sexualising that thing, and then expecting me to be thrilled by that.

There is no way that I am a quiet, shy, obedient, coy and demure little girl, but that's who they're expecting me to be, purely because my mum's Chinese? Alright then.

It's stereotypes of Asian women, as innocent, child-like, powerless, mystical and submissive, that are perpetuated in things like anime, hentai porn, 'mail-order' brides and Japanese school girl costumes.

Unfortunately, Asian women are under represented in the west, and this means that the stereotypes are much harder to break. I can think of one film star (Lucy Liu, duh), one television programme with an Asian woman as a (non-stereotyped) main character (Fresh off the boat - it's amazing), and zero A-list celebrities that are Asian. Maybe that's because I'm not paying enough attention, but I don't think so, because I'd really love strong Asian women to look up to, but they just aren't supported by their industries or by the media.

Don't get me wrong - there are Asian women who perpetuate the stereotype too. They play up to idea that they are shy and need a sexual awakening. Some use it to help them find husbands in the west, others just want to be considered that way. I myself am guilty of it - I wore a bloody Japanese school girl costume for Halloween in 2013, along with lace stockings and a very low cut neckline. But I just wish I'd known better.

This problem is so much bigger than just the fetishizing of Asian women, that's clear to me. But that problem in particular is incredibly frustrating, and honestly, really disgusting.

[If you want to read more about 'yellow fever' click here to check out Yuan Ren's article for the telegraph].

The Never Have I Ever List

Nearly a year ago today I wrote a post on drinking games for fresher's week, and I included my all-time-fave "Never Have I Ever". But we play it a little bit differently. Instead of each thinking up something to say, we read from a list of things which I have saved in the notes on my phone. The original list was written in 2013 (when I had just finished school and was celebrating in Ayia Napa), and we've added to it ever since.

Anyway, I decided that the list was just too good to not share with you all, so here goes...

NEVER HAVE I EVER...
• Fraped someone

• Failed a test 

• Been to a funeral 

• Blackmailed someone

• Had a job

• Stalked my ex on social media

• Had a pet

• Kissed/dated someone 5+ years older than me

• Had a piercing

• Cheated

• Been in trouble with the police

• Played on a sports team

• Hit someone

• Smoked cigarettes

• Drunk alcohol

• Bought underwear for someone of the opposite sex

• Been overweight

• Purposefully tried to make someone else jealous

• Been underweight

• Had a crush on someone in the room

• Stalked my ex's new girl/guy on social media

• Done a season overseas

• Got a tattoo

• Gone on a tinder date

• Been 'the over woman/man'

• Been late to school

• Been proposed to

• Kicked someone out

• Been engaged

• Kissed/dated with my friend's ex/someone they used to see

• Got kicked out of a club/bar

• Been with someone/dated someone 3+ years younger than me

• Been to a wedding

• Lost all my stuff on a night out

• Been bullied

• Been on tv

• Kissed someone who's in the room right now

• Been on a blind date

• Pretended to be gay/straight

• Lied in never have I ever

• Been late to work

• Smoked a cigar

• Been friendzoned

• Been go karting

• Been in the back of a police car

• Been bungee jumping

• Broken up with someone via text message

• Been in an ambulance

• Had a crush on a teacher

• Fallen over in front of everyone

• Found my cousin on tinder

• Had my phone stolen

• Been speed dating

• Done something I regretted

• Kissed someone in the rain

• Gone on a pedalo

• Kissed someone different race to myself

• Had my heart broken

• Wet myself

• Had a shout out on the radio

• Professed my love to someone whilst drunk

• Go skinny dipping

• Been in a car crash

• Failed my drivers test

• Done karaoke

• Broken a bone

• Dated a co-worker

• Cried because I was drunk

• Drunk dialled someone

• Broken somebody's heart

• Thrown a party without my parents knowing

• Passed out from drinking

• Used a fake id

• Stolen something

• Been a bridesmaid/page boy

• Fancied someone so much I stalked them

This list probably seems a little bit tame for the more seasoned of you never-have-I-ever players, so if you were looking for a more raunchy list which is definitely NSFW and probably not suitable for anyone sober, then click here!

P.s. If you want to share the list with your friends then please credit me!

P.p.s. DRINK RESPONSIBLY!

House Horror Stories I

The fact that I have enough material to write a series of posts on this just shows that my housemates and I had quite a few housing nightmares during our second year... This will probably be a long post.

It did get to the point where, if something could go wrong, it did. However, I will say that I don't lay the blame on my landlord, who actually went out of his way for us quite frequently, or our lettings agent, who were pretty quick to fix things when they went wrong. I think it was just extreme bad luck, and at least we can laugh about it now!

So, let's start at the very beginning. My housemates and I signed for our house pretty early on, at around Christmas time of our first year. The house that we decided on was being renovated, so when we moved in everything would be new and extended, which was very exciting. We were also promised plenty of bathrooms with large showers, loads of kitchen space, a utility room and brand new furniture in all of the bedrooms. Plus, no rent to pay over the summer months, when the property would be empty anyway. An offer we couldn't refuse.

Bit premature luv

Fast-forward several months, to the beginning of September, and we received a phone call from our landlord. He apologetically explained to me that our house was not yet ready, and probably wouldn't be ready by the time that our tenancy agreement began, but that he would keep us updated with the situation. At this point we weren't really panicking, we didn't need to move in until a while after our tenancy began, and we were told that it should be ready before then.

The next few weeks were pretty stressful. We were getting constant updates on our house and its progress, but we could tell that it wasn't looking good. Eventually, the beginning of the tenancy came around and the house wasn't ready. The panic set in as we realised that despite our best hopes, the house would not be ready for when we wanted to start moving in. But, we did still think that it wouldn't be long before we could. 

In the meantime, our landlord sorted us out some temporary accommodation, which turned out to be another house in the area that one of his friends owned. Which eased the panic slightly, as we thought we might have to stay in a hotel in the meantime. However, the house we were given as temporary accommodation had no oven, one shower, had to have a fridge and freezer put in for us, as well as a microwave, and didn't have enough bedrooms. This meant that two of us would have to share. 

Ooooh, cosy

A few days after our original moving in date, I headed up to Birmingham with most of my stuff, to move into the temporary house, and to store some of my stuff at the still-under-construction house. I don't think I had quite prepared myself for the house that I walked into. We were under the impression that the house could be ready any day now. What I was met with was a house that didn't even have a roof or walls in parts, no floors, no plaster, still to be plumbed, no electrics, and that was no where near being close to 'finishing touches'. It was quite a shock.

Luckily, my bedroom was finished. So I was able to pop most of my stuff into my room, and see how it would look. I was thrilled with how it had turned out, with new furniture, plenty of storage and a huge window, which let in plenty of light. For the next couple of nights, I stayed on a friend's sofa, because our temporary accommodation was also not ready for all of us.

We didn't have to pay for our temporary accommodation, and our landlord didn't charge us rent throughout the time we weren't living in our house. He also compensated us for the cost of moving our stuff from house to house, which we had to do in a taxi, despite them only being roads apart. But it was still incredibly disruptive. We started the term in a house which we hadn't signed up for, which we could end up moving out of on quite short notice. We soldiered on.

This is actually one of the only pictures I have of our temporary house, lol

Nearly a month after the initial phone call, we finally received confirmation that we could move in to our house! It still wasn't totally finished, and there would still be builders in and out, but we would have our own beds. It was very welcome news. It wasn't too long until they house was basically finished. A few small touches, such as toilet roll holders and bathroom cabinets were yet to be put in, but we could cope. 

Finally, towards of October, our house was finally finished and ready for us to host a moving in party! But that's another story...

Things You Need For Fresher's Week

This September I will be entering into my third, and final, year of university, however the memories of fresher's week are still fresh in my mind, and I suspect will be for years to come. Eeek, nostalgia. If you are heading off to university this next academic year and you're not sure what to expect, look no further. I'm a veteran student who's gone through many a freshers (and refreshers) week.

Loz & I luvin' life in various different outfits during 'freshers fest'

Beside the usual essentials that you'll need for uni (which you can find here), you'll probably need a few extra bits and bobs if you are to survive your first few weeks. 

HANGOVER CURES - If you are someone that chooses to drink during freshers week, like the masses, you'll find yourself drinking many nights in a row. There's nothing worse than feeling ridiculously ill from the night before whilst getting ready for another night out. So be sure to pack whatever it is that usually makes you feel better, apparently pears can work miracles, I prefer a good old can of diet coke and binge watching netflix.

A GOOD WALLET/BAG - If you're going to be going on lots of nights out you need somewhere to put your stuff whilst you're out. I never venture out without my handy clutch bag and in fresher's I took a shoulder bag out with me every night. Something small that you can keep close to you is perfect, nothing too valuable. A cheap primark bag will do! Same goes for your wallet, make sure that the one you take out with you does the job but doesn't cost a fortune.

PARACETAMOL, COUGH SYRUP AND ORANGE JUICE - Fresher's flu is unavoidable during fresher's week I'm afraid. You just have to accept your fate, and go down like a hero. My mother sent me off to uni with 8 packs of paracetamol/ibuprofen and I used almost all of them (it wasn't just me.. I was like the pharmacy of my halls). Since there's not much you can do to avoid getting sick, you just have to make yourself not feel as bad. Pre-buying things like cough syrup mean you don't have to search for a pharmacy in your new alien city, and orange juice solves all illness problems.

My saviour

LOTS OF MINUTES ON YOUR PHONE - During my first week at university I spent lots of time in the early morning on the phone to friends from home. One night as I cowered over the toilet bowl, I cried down the phone to my friend who managed to convince me that dropping out before I'd even been to a lecture was not a good idea. I'm very thankful. Expect to phone home and phone friends more than you would regularly.

PROPS, COSTUMES, FACE PAINTS - Have a look at the themed nights that your university runs to get an idea of clothing or fancy dress that you might need. For example, if there's a neon night, make sure you pack some neon clothes and paints. Not everyone gets really into their costumes during these first few weeks, but it's fun - so why not! I found that there wasn't as much fancy dress as I thought there would be throughout the rest of the year, so I'm glad that I joined in during freshers.

MARKER PENS - You're likely to be given tons of random t-shirts for fresher's events, bar crawls, etc. all with 'witty' boxes to fill in such as 'please return me to..', and for this you'll need some pens to fill them in. Possibly not an essential, but I still have my tshirts with their original writings and they're quite hilarious to look back at.

ALL OF THE FOOD - After all that partying you're not going to want to be slaving over a cooker all day, or walking miles to the nearest supermarket (not having a car is so killer). So be sure to get your grocery shopping in when your parents drop you off, that way you might be able to get them to pay for it too! Pick up lots of quick and easy meals, especially if you're someone who's hardly cooked for them-self before.

Finally, if you want to be properly prepared for your manic week of partying, make sure you get as much sleep as possible in the weeks leading up to it! Enjoy and stay safe.

Hating Your Best Friend's Boyfriend

It's an awkward situation, one that a lot of us have been in before. After weeks of your friend going on about this guy, you meet him and you hate him. Sometimes you can't even put your finger on what it is, other-times it's blatantly obvious. Immediately you secretly write him off and pray that they won't be together forever, or you'll have to hide your hatred during their wedding day (you'll obvi be bridesmaid). You plot and plan his demise (ok, not literally) but you know you can't let on to her. 

Third wheelin'

So what do you do?

SPEND TIME WITH HIM. You might hate him now, but once you get to know him properly it could be a different story. After all, clearly there is a reason that she likes him, and hopefully after spending some time with him you might see it too. Plus, if they have stuff in common and you have stuff in common with her, surely you'll be able to find something you guys can talk about or bond over.

SPEND TIME WITH THEM TOGETHER. Seeing how they interact and how "into" one another they are could help you change your mind on him. It might help you to see that really they are suited, and that he isn't so bad after-all. Alternatively it could go completely the other way, but you've just gotta' take the risk!

DON'T LET HER KNOW. Although she'll probably be able to figure it out (depending on how well you're able to hide your emotions) telling her that you don't like him is a no-go. Her knowing that you don't like him is unlikely to change her opinion on him. Instead, she's likely to think that you're just being a judgemental cow or that you're jealous, and that's not going to get you anywhere.

BE SUPPORTIVE. There's always that temptation to say "I told you so" when things go wrong, but if they get back together or work things out, you're going to look bad. Instead, try to have her back with things. Eventually she'll probably see that she was an idiot, but she doesn't need you to tell her that to figure it out. She'll do that on her own.

THIS CHANGES NOTHING. You're still going to be friends whether she has a boyfriend that you like or not. Things aren't going to change drastically, perhaps the dynamics might alter slightly, but it's nothing you can't cope with. Just enjoy your friendship, don't let things like this get between you.