Problem Flatmates

Although for most of us our flatmates will become our extended family there are lots of instances where flatmates don't always see eye-to-eye and disputes do happen. We want to try and prevent that and resolve things, because it's not great to fall out with people you're living with, but it does happen and here's how to help things. 

Disputes over cleaning. If you're lucky enough to have your flat cleaned you're living the life of luxury... Heck! I don't even know if you count as a student with that standard of living! However, if you aren't one of the lucky ones you may find that you begin to fall out with your flatmates over who takes what share of the workload. 

One of the ways to get by this is to make a cleaning rota. I know it sounds super stupid but making a rota means that everyone is given equal responsibility of the mess and therefore has equal blamed. You also know who hasn't done their jobs when they were supposed to. You could all sit down together to discuss which jobs needs to be done & how often, then draw up a table together to make sure everyone has their share of the work. 

However, this doesn't always work for everyone. My flatmates hid the rota I carefully perfected, and I haven't seen it ever again... Thanks guys. (Yes I was that one annoying flatmate, but I like organisation!)

Disputes over boundaries & expectations. When we first moved in we drew up an agreement between ourselves that outlined the boundaries we wanted to have as a flat (this was part of the student mentoring scheme). It included things such as when we could have people over & what to do if someone was causing disruptions or irritation. This was really helpful as it made sure we were all on the same page, it might be an idea to discuss matters like this between your flatmates, you don't have to write it down because that was actually really awkward, but being altogether and in agreement helps things. Which leads me onto my third point...

Communication. If something is upsetting you, you cannot assume or expect your flatmates to know that. In fact, keeping something bottled up is only more likely to turn it into a much larger problem than it originally was. You are going to have to live with these guys for a year! If there is something which you need to discuss with them, do so! Make sure that you are considerate of others feelings whilst doing so, but make sure that your voice is being heard, whilst listening to others too. You will probably find that this solves problems at a much earlier stage than if you were to just keep it bottled up.

Finally, if you really are struggling with your flatmates and no resolutions seem to be happening it's likely that you may have to speak to your university. Your student union most likely offers guidance on this subject and will be able to offer you extra help in ensuring that your living situation is more pleasant. Don't feel like you are being a burden by doing this, especially as it is likely to lead to a happier resolution as well as a more content home life for yourself and your flatmates! 

Good luck! Xx

Societies

When I joined university I hadn't even begun to think about joining new societies or taking up a new hobby/sport, I was so engrossed in other things that I didn't make the time to find out more about the 200+ societies which were at my university, and as a result, I missed out. Societies, sports and groups are really worth checking out. Not only do they allow you to take up something which you may have not tried before but they also allow you to meet new people, make new friends and keep yourself busy. All things which are pretty important in freshers.

Birmingham's Guild of Students is pretty fancy, eh?

One of the easiest ways to find out about new societies is to go to a society fair, a lot of universities host these in the student union as a way for you two get in touch with societies, and a way for societies to get in touch with you. Go along and have a look at all the stalls, if there's something in particular that takes your interest leave your email address with them or sign up straight away! 

You can also often find out about societies online, usually on the student union's website. This might be a good idea to do before you go to the fair, so you can get a rough idea of which stalls to visit before you get there because it might be fairly busy.

Some societies require an initial joining fee, some are free, keep that in mind when you do join any societies. In addition to this, the sessions that you might attend as part of this society may also cost money, and usually with sports you have to pay for kit or facilities, but if it's something you're really interested in it's worth it. However, if it is something that you probably won't ever attend but you're just signing up for the sake of it, you may want to rethink that. Some sports and societies will run taster sessions and it might be a good idea to go to one of these before handing over a large, or small, chunk of your student budget!

If you're at the University of Birmingham the societies fair is on Thursday (today) and Friday of this week, 11am-4pm in marquee behind the Guild of Students. If you're at another university have fun picking a new hobby!

Drinking Games

If you've never played a drinking game before be prepared to learn all the tricks, whether you're a pro or an amateur you'll be playing plenty of drinking games in your first few weeks of university. Sure, drinking games can end up with you a little more tipsy than you intended, but they're also a really good way to bond with new people and make pres a lot less awkward.

If you don't have a glass.. just use a bowl! Classy.

•  RING OF FIRE. A classic. Though, you will discover that there are a lot of different variations of rules for this game. If you do decide to play it at pres, make sure that everyone is on the same page and go through the rules before you begin. 

Here's how we play it: place a large glass on the table and surround that glass with a ring of playing cards. All the playing cards should be face down, like the photo above. The players sit in a circle around that glass with their own drinks and take in turns to take a card from the ring, they then show the circle the card and the circle acts in accordance to the number or picture on the card. 

- So, an ace is "waterfall", the person who pulled the card begins drinking their drink, the person to their left also drinks and this continues around the circle - drinking after the person so your right starts drinking. You can only stop drinking once the person to your right has stopped drinking - the person who pulled the card chooses when to stop and then this goes around the circle in a 'mexican wave' until you have all stopped.

- A two is "you", the person who pulled the card chooses someone to drink.

- A three is "me", the person who pulled the card must drink.

- A four is "whore" (unfortunate I know), all the girls have to drink.

- A five is "thumbmaster", the person who pulled the card has the chance to put their thumb on the table at any point in the game, everyone else must then follow and put their thumb on the table once they realise, the last person to realise must drink. They remain thumbmaster until someone else pulls a five.

- A six is "dicks" (again, unfortunate), all the guys have to drink.

- A seven is "heaven", similar to thumbmaster, you have the chance to raise your hand in the air at any point in the game, the last person to realise and raise theirs has to drink. You have this 'power' until someone else pulls a seven, when the power is passed to them.

- An eight is "mate". The card puller chooses someone to drink with them, that person must then drink any time that the card puller has to drink, throughout the duration of the game. If they forget they also have to drink.

- A nine is "rhyme", the card puller comes up with a word and everyone must think of a word that rhymes with that word, go round the circle and call out your word. If you take too long or repeat a word you must drink.

- A ten is "categories", this is similar to rhyme. The card puller comes up with a category and the people in the circle must come up with items within that category. Hesitation or wrong answers results in a drink.

- A jack is "make a rule", the card puller can make up any rule which must be followed throughout the rest of the game. E.g. no one is allowed to say the word 'drink'.

- A Queen is "question master", if anyone playing is asked a question by the question master and they respond, they must drink. You have this power until another queen is pulled.

- A King is "pour", you must pour a small amount of your drink into the glass in the centre of the circle. Whoever picks up the last King has to drink the entire glass in the middle, the dirty pint.

•  NEVER HAVE I EVER. This is another commonly played drinking game, and is really good for getting to know all of your flatmates and new friends. In this game you take it in turns around the circle to say "Never Have I Ever.." and then something which you haven't ever done. For example "Never Have I Ever failed my driving test", if someone has failed their driving test they have to take a drink from their cup.

We did find whilst playing this game that it took people a long time to come up with ideas of what they were going to say. As a solution to this we made a long list of things on someone's phone and that person called them all out and people drank accordingly. This meant that there weren't long gaps between people because they don't have to come up with an idea, which makes the game a little less awkward. You can find lists online or come up with one between yourselves.

We also mixed the game up a couple of times by making people not only drink if they had done the thing in question but also move one seat to their left, whether that meant sitting on someone's lap or not. Either a really good way to make sure everyone's friends, or maybe just awkward, but it was pretty hilarious.

• MOST LIKELY TO. This game is very similar to Never Have I Ever, but may work better with a smaller group. Someone asks 'most likely to...' and then counts down from five, when they get to zero you all point to the person you think is the most likely to do the thing in question. The person who has the most fingers pointing at them must take a sip of their drink, if there's a tie they both drink! Examples of questions include: 'most likely to set fire to the kitchen' or 'most likely to fail their degree'.

•  PARANOIA. This is another game that's good to play between new friends as it helps you to know one another better. I've seen a lot of different versions of this game played so it is up to your own preferences. The basic premise of the game is that someone whispers a question into another person's ear, that question must be answered by naming someone in that room. For example, "who do you think has the nicest hair?" or "who do you think will end up being a gold digger?". 

Here's where the variety kicks in, you can either answer that question by naming/pointing at the person in question or by whispering a question into the ear of the person you have chosen.

If you choose to name them/point them out then the questions move around the circle and at the end of the round you must do a shot in order to know what the question was. I think this version makes a little more sense, but the other version does allow for people to move around and get to know people better.

So there we have it, three drinking games to help break the ice at pres. A lot of you will know them already but it can't hurt to have a reminder of the rules! Make sure you drink responsibly and enjoy yourselves!

Also note that these games are really hard to explain over a blog post, in real life they're pretty simple and really good fun.

Do you have any drinking games which you always play? I'm always looking for new ones! xx

Staying Safe

Starting university usually means a new environment, new people and new situations. Although everything is all very exciting it is important to make sure that you are keeping yourself safe. Throughout freshers I heard lots of rumours and horror stories of situations which had supposedly happened to other freshers, and although most of them were just hearsay some were situations which could have easily happened and they were a good reminder to keep vigilant.

It is important that you have fun during freshers, and throughout the year, but there are some measures you can take to make sure that you keep yourself, and others, as safe as possible whilst doing so.

• Try to avoid walking home on your own in the dark, and around areas which you are not familiar with. Let a flatmate, or a friend, know where you are going and what time you should be back.

• Ask a member of the Student Union or Residents Association which taxi firm you should use. Some universities have a particular firm that they recommend. Always pre-book taxis, especially if  you are getting it on your own, don't get into taxis on the street.

• Make sure you insure your personal valuables such as your phone or laptop, and try to keep these hidden if you are carrying them around. Using a sports bag instead of a laptop bag is a good tip.

• On nights out, don't take drinks from strangers and keep an eye on your own drink. Don't put your drink down to come back to it. You may think minesweeping is the perfect way to save some money on a night out, but just don't do it, you don't know what's in those drinks. 

You can get special devices which sit in the top of bottles to stop anything being placed in your drink but I find that just placing your hand on top of the drink helps to avoid your drink being tampered with.

• Buddy up. Make sure that no one ends up being left on their own in the club or makes their way home on their own.

• Know your limit. It is very easy to drink to excess when you're at university, but it is so important that you know when you have had enough. If anything, it is embarrassing when you get out of hand, but it can also be dangerous.

Alternating your drinks with a soft drink or water can help keep you from becoming too intoxicated or out of control.

• Keep emergency funds. Sometimes circumstances happen which you couldn't have predicted and having either some cash or money which you can withdraw is a good idea in case you do get stuck in a sticky situation.

• Most student unions tend to offer free self defence classes. Keep an eye out for these being advertised and go along.

• Know that no really does mean no. If you feel uncomfortable with anything or anyone, walk away. 

It makes me pretty sad that I have to list these things. Freshers is supposed to be a really happy time but unfortunately sometimes really awful things do happen. If you use your common sense I am sure you'll be fine. Please keep yourself safe.

Xx

Also:

(From @everydaysexism)

Moving In

So, you've finished dragging your parents around shops, managed to pack all of your stuff into the car and finally said your goodbyes to everyone, and now you're bloody bricking it (to put it politely).

I may have slightly over estimated the amount of items I would need when I headed off to uni...

Don't panic! I know everyone always says you're all in the same boat, but you truly are. Everyone else is as excited, but nervous, as you are. It's a fresh start and new environment for everybody. 

If you can, try and be one of the first people to arrive in your flat/block. Arriving early means that you can make a start on unpacking all of your stuff so you're not busy when others start arriving. That way you're not falling over one another when you first get there. It also means you can shotgun the best cupboards and fridge/freezer shelves, which is a great bonus!

Introductions are super awkward, but just go with it. You'll shortly realise that you will be asking everyone meet's name, course & where their hometown is, but you'll have asked so many people won't remember any of it if you do meet them again, because you will meet a lot of people. Your flatmates, and their relationship with you, are going to be pretty important for your first year, so try and make a good first impression, but don't worry as everyone's pretty welcoming in freshers. Try not to be too shy! 

Once you've all arrived, and your parents have left, go on a venture with your flatmates. You'll probably all need some alcohol & mixers if you plan on going out, and if you don't it's still good to know how long the walk is to the local supermarket. This gives you some bonding time that isn't just awkwardly chatting to one another in the kitchen. Pop around to the other flats in your block and make sure everyone is introduced to one another, you'll be seeing them lots too this next year! 

If you can, go on a night out. There's nothing quite like freshers to bond you all together. Look online or ask the RAs where to go and head out as a big group to the club. Have pres together and play some drinking games and get to know everyone better. 

Make sure to unpack! Making your room your own will make it seem more like home. It'll keep you busy and means you have something to do before lectures start. When lectures do start you probably won't have time to unpack, so try and get it all done now! 

I know I've said it about three times already, but everyone really is in the same boat. If you're feeling down or want someone to talk to, don't feel like you can't just knock on someone's door for a chat. They are probably just as lonely and homesick as you are. That goes for friends at other unis too, drop them a text or give them a ring to see how they're doing. 

Another added bonus, which I shouldn't have to say but you'd be surprised! Try not to get romantically involved with your flatmates, it makes things pretty messy for everyone, think of them as family... That should put you off!

Good luck! xx