Break Ups

Something that I did find in the first few months of uni was that there were a lot of break ups. Distance, as well as a completely fresh start, took its toll on a lot of relationships. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like everyone had split, but it was definitely something that I noticed. But luckily for all of you, if you are going through a break up, or you know people that are, I have the perfect advice and pointers which I've figured out from all of the struggles my friends and I experienced in our first year.

1. DONT GET MAD, OR EVEN. Sometimes when our feelings get hurt our first reaction is to act out and reciprocate that. Though I know the temptation out there is to hurt someone as much as they've hurt you, I've found that this just makes things much more messy. You may think that making them feel the same way they made you feel is a way to show them how wrong they've been, but what's more likely to happen is that you hurt yourself in the process and cause a whole lot of drama, which isn't needed.

2. DON'T TEXT THEM. Try to keep yourself busy, surround yourself with friends and give yourself less alone time than normal. This would be the perfect opportunity to join a new society or take up a new hobby. Instead of watching Netflix on your own, watch it with a flatmate. Being on your own gives you an excuse to over-think and dwell on things, it will lead to you not only feeling lonely but also over analysing everything, which will only drive you crazy. And whatever you do, don't contact them.

3. SOCIAL MEDIA WOES. To make it easier for yourself you may want to remove yourself from social media, or block/delete them from it. You don't want to end up posting cringey year 9-esque tweets about what could have been, and you don't want to find yourself being a creepy stalker. If it's rude to block or delete them just hide them from your newsfeed to prevent the temptation!

4. MATES BEFORE DATES. Friends are the perfect people to keep you happy, keep you distracted and to keep you from getting lonely. Don't rely on them, but make sure you that you keep them close. Ask them for advice if you need it, because they'll have your best interests at heart. Whether that's new university friends or your old friends from home.

5. STAY SOBER. Most freshers will be thinking I'm crazy telling you to not drink, but in my experience alcohol is likely to not help this situation. There is the temptation to go mad on a night out with your friends, but with alcohol being a depressant the likely outcome is that the night will end in tears. Tears, fighting or drunk dialling, all of which you want to avoid. Save yourself for a big night which you are really looking forward to, rather than just going out for the sake of it.

6. MORE FISH IN THE SEA. Ok, so it's probably a little bit early to start looking for someone else, but that doesn't mean that you can't check people out, right? After all, everyone moves at their own pace, and trust me, there will be a lot of eye-candy on campus. Enjoy single life, and the benefits it brings with it. Besides, now's the perfect time to get closer with that person from two blocks down that you were eyeing up the day you moved in. I'm not saying you have to find someone else straight away, but knowing that there are other great people out there is something that will help you to move on.

Finally, whilst there were lots of break ups there were an equal amount of new relationships or relationships that stayed strong. Don't think that because you're at University your relationship is doomed to fail, it's not the case at all.

Everyone is different, so even if something works for someone else it may not be the same case for you. If you do have any other good pieces of advice comment them below for people to read, and to everyone else, good luck! xx

(A big thanks to Jen for helping me edit this post and decide what to include!)