I am mixed race. When I have to fill in an ethnicity form I usually have to tick "mixed - any other mixed background". My mother is Chinese, Oriental or Asian, my father is English, European or White. Both my parents were raised in the UK, my Mother in Surrey and my Father in Hertfordshire. Ethnically I'm of two races, but nationality wise I've always been British, so have my parents.
The first time I can remember ever encountering outright racism was when I was in year 7 or 8. Two girls at school were arguing and I took the side of my friend. The other girl shouted at me to "go back to your own country". I was baffled. I've never even been to Asia. At that point, the closest I'd come to going to Asia was going to China Town, and the nearest country to Asia I'd travelled to was Holland. Not that it even matters. I was British, always had been.
I guess I'd lead a sheltered life. There was only one other Oriental girl in my year, she was mixed race too. My primary school had taught acceptance and there were never any issues. Secondary school was never terrible, I think this is the only incident that I can recall, but it wasn't big incidents that were the problem. It isn't big incidents that I take issue with. It's casual racism.
I get that it's all well and good and funny to make jokes with your friends about particular things. You call them out for their stupid behaviour, you make fun of them for having a fit mum/dad and you joke about things together. However, I do think there is a line that cannot be crossed, and I don't think everyone understand it.
If I want to make fun of my own race, joke about having small eyes, how all tourists are Asians, or about eating dogs, that's fine. It's funny. That's what comedians do - they pull fun at themselves. However, when someone else starts to make jokes about something like that, it's not funny any more. You've crossed that line, and I've started to feel uncomfortable. Imagine someone making a joke about your insecurities - your acne scars, your large nose or your weigh-gain. That's not funny, that's just uncomfortable. Perhaps there is some level of hypocrisy here, it's okay for me to do it, but not for you. However, this is the same for most of our insecurities - I don't want you to make a joke of something which I am very aware of, but cannot change.
I think that's not all that bugs me either. People talk about white privilege, and I'm not sure I fully understood what that meant, but now I'm beginning to. I think that, as a person who has been described as a banana (yellow on the outside, white on the inside), it's easier for me to voice my concern. There is a culture of us taking things for granted, that's just the selfish nature of humankind, but when that self entitlement extends to issues, such as race, it becomes an even bigger problem. White people (and it feels weird to refer to them like that, having always considered myself as one) don't see the issue.
I think we believe that there are racists and then there are accepting people. Two categories. You can only belong to one. Either you're racist or you're not, and you can't be racist if you have a black/asian/latino friend. Whereas, I'm starting to believe that it's more of a scale. It's human nature to be afraid of things that you don't understand, or that aren't normal to you. Ethnic minorities fall into this because people are wary of people who are different to them. In this way, we are all racist to an extent. Perhaps racism isn't the right word, because I don't think it's hatred, I think it's fear, but it's the word I'm going to use to put my point across.
And there's another problem that I've realised, and it's an issue for several different races, and that's that my race, my ethnicity is being fetishised. Ever heard of yellow fever? I'm not talking about the viral disease, I mean the growing trend of a sexual preference for East-Asian women. White, Caucasian men want to date 'nice Chinese girls', because they believe that they are better sexual lovers, submissive and subservient, as well as exotic. Vomit. If I have one more guy tell me I look 'exotic' or that he's never had sex with a Chinese girl before, I will scream.
What I'm trying to say is, please think before you speak. Think about whether that joke you were about to make was actually funny, or just poked fun at someone's ethnicity. Think again about the things you say, whether they could be taken the wrong way. There is no harm done in thinking twice, I know I sure will.
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