Epilating

I've always been a shaving girl; it's cheap, it's easy and it gets the job done. However, I wanted to search for a better solution to hair removal because having to repurchase razors all the time whilst your hair grows back thicker and darker wasn't doing it for me any more! I'd heard of epilating before but hadn't really bothered to look into it further because I thought that epilators were really expensive and super painful...

However, whilst I was looking through the Amazon sale I came across a whole load of affordable epilators, and after some research (on YouTube) I found that it wasn't really as painful as I thought it was, so I decided to bite the bullet.

I bought the Braun Silk-épil Wet and Dry Epilator because I had read that epilating in the bath/shower was much less painful, and this epilator is waterproof! Plus, I had a bit of Christmas & Birthday money to burn. Thanks to my free student trial of prime, it came the next day, but annoyingly I had to wait another few days to use it because its charger plug is for use in 'shaver only' plugs, and I needed to order an adaptor.

Someone once commented that it was like a 'multi-tool' and "why does it need a torch?!"

I've been using it for a couple of months now which has given me the chance to properly test it out and get used to the pain (!!) and I have to say I'm pretty happy with my purchase. It's easy to use, holds charge really well and does the job I bought it for. I use it to remove hair in all sorts of places (lol) and each is different so I'll go through each bit individually.

LEGS: the first thing I tried epilating was my legs. It was quite painful... bearable, but it did make my teeth clench. I couldn't really do large areas at a time, plus had to do it pretty slowly. The pain is sort of like tiny pin pricks and goes away as soon as the epilator has passed that patch of skin. I think the reason it hurt so much was because I've shaved my legs for a really long time, and the hairs have grown to be pretty thick and coarse, which is always going to hurt more. So, instead, I tried the epilator in the shower, which was much less painful. You do have to be careful that you actually get all of the hairs though, which involved some contortion, or a quick touch up after the shower whilst still wet.

Hot dogs or legs? I epilated my right thigh and left my left thigh to demonstrate - but I'm not sure it's that obvious.

UNDERARMS: this sound like it would be mind-numbingly painful and I was pretty scared before I went through with it, but I actually think that it was less painful than doing my legs! I didn't even try battling this 'dry' because I was terrified, but doing it in the shower is pretty much painless. You can feel that the epilator is working but it really doesn't hurt too much at all. I think it's because I try not to shave my underarms too often, and actually used to pluck the hairs out (I don't have that many, yeah it's super weird but it's worked in my favour!). If you have previously waxed your underarms I'm sure you'd be fine.

BIKINI LINE: yes, I even braved the bikini line. It took quite a while to build up the courage, and although I could feel the pain of it, it really was bearable and wasn't as bad as I had feared. However, this is another area which I have waxed before so I think the weaker hairs made it much easier. The more you epilate the easier it gets too, and I now don't even wince whilst doing it.

UPPER LIP: having dark hairs can be such a pain and I've always used creams to either remove the hair on my upper lip or to bleach it. However, seeing as I had the epilator and because the creams can be awkward and messy to use I decided to give epilating a go. I first used it in the shower, and the pain was bearable but did reduce me to tears. Also, being in the shower, it made it impossible to see which spots I had missed, so I finished it off out of the shower but whilst my skin was still wet, which also hurts but you can get through it.

And that's it folks... I am loving having an epilator, but it can sometimes take a lot of time. I'm hoping that it will be worth it for the future when hopefully my hairs will be much thinner and less noticeable!

What A Girl Wants

Just a little side note here - my blog has reached 10,000 views! I'm very over excited and so pleased. Thank you so much to everyone who likes what I write and thanks even more to those who share it with their friends/family/pets, it means so much to me!

I have four female house-mates and one male house-mate (bless his little cotton socks). I think at times his experiences in our house would be described as hell-ish, but he doesn't seem to mind... too much. One bonus he does have, other than living with five beautiful ladies, is getting unlimited advice on women (whether it's asked for or not...). Sometimes he'll ask me what I think a girl would prefer and it's down to the individual lady, but other times I know exactly what she'd want - it just depends upon the issue we're discussing. Anyway, it made me think, what do girls really want? So during a lecture (oops) my brain got buzzing and I jotted it all down and here I am FINALLY sharing it with all of you!


So, here goes... Reading it back it's sort of more of a guide to first dates, but that's cool too right?

COMPLIMENT HER. I'm sure that this goes for guys too, but a compliment never did anyone any harm. Be truthful and genuine, what did you first notice about her? What do you find attractive about her? Personal compliments are the sweetest and always brighten someone's day. Try to let her know you're interested without sounding creepy - there's a fine line!

MAKE HER LAUGH. First of all, you want to be with a girl who has the same sense of humour as you and the best way to find this out is to make light hearted jokes and hope that she finds them funny. Play it safe with the jokes, probably best not to delve into any deep issues, even if you are trying to make light of them. Show your sense of humour, get a sense of hers. Try not to be too sarcastic because it can be quite hard to sense sarcasm when you first get to know someone, and you don't want her to accidentally take you seriously.

LISTEN TO HER. This sounds like a dumb thing to have to say, but take in what she's saying. Even if you're not actually interested get her to expand on the things she's talking about by asking questions. If it truly is really boring to you then you can always ask a question which tries to change the subject!

BE "CHEEKY". Sometimes it's important to show your playful side. Flirt a little and maybe even throw a couple of euphemisms in there. If that's not your kind of thing that's still cool, you'll find other ways of flirting and letting her know you're interested.

DON'T BE SHY. There's nothing worse than a surplus of awkward moments. First dates can be super awkward anyway so you don't want to make them worse! Show your true colours and be confident about it - what's the worst that could happen? Try not to be over confident or cocky though, that's a total turn-off.

USE YOUR BODY LANGUAGE. If you're into her then you don't have to just let her know vocally. Think about what your body language is saying - how you are sitting, how close you stand next to her, how you use your hands when you're talking to her, or what you're looking at when she's talking to you.

ASSESS HER BODY LANGUAGE. Read what she is telling you without really telling you. Her body language will tell you everything you need to know, and show you things that she can't hide.

The Implant

It sounds like something from a sci-fi film or a dystopian novel; an injected implant which sits just under the skin and controls the way your body work. When you put it that way it sounds pretty scary, but realistically it's just a small tube which stops you from getting pregnant. Contraception is something which is mostly about preference. You have to find something which works for you and will be the best for your body, habits and needs. I chose the implant because it worked for me, and here I am to sing its praises.

The implant releases progestogen into the bloodstream, this imitates the hormone progesterone, and stops your body from releasing an egg. In addition to this, it also thickens cervical mucus (yuck!) and thins down the lining of the womb. If there's no egg, then there's no chance of conception, and with these added factors, a much lower risk of pregnancy. It's pretty effective (about 99%), with only 1 in 1000 women getting pregnant whilst using it as contraception. That's the scientific bit.

The implant can be fitted at most Sexual Health Clinics or GP surgeries and is inserted under local anaesthetic - so it shouldn't hurt! It lasts for three years, but you can have it removed before then if you need to. You can also have another one fitted as soon as you have your old one out. Because it's just sat underneath the skin in your arm you don't need to worry about remembering to take a pill, in fact, you don't actually have to do anything, which was brilliant for me.

How revolting.

I did get a fantastic bruise on my arm as a result of having it fitted, but it only lasted a couple of days and was easy to hide. That's another thing, it's almost impossible to notice the implant in your arm unless you specifically feel for it.

Of course there are downsides to any form of contraception and the implant isn't any different. It can disrupt your menstrual cycle which leads to odd timings on periods, or no period at all (which I actually think is a wonderful bonus), and then there are other side effects, which aren't so different from other forms of contraception, such as headaches, acne, nausea, etc. but you can get your implant removed if this is the case!

Once you have the implant removed your fertility should return back to normal straight away (unlike the contraceptive injection), and you can even breastfeed whilst using it. Of course, you have to remember that like all a lot of other forms of contraception, the implant will not protect you against Sexually Transmitted Infections, only condoms will do that!

I have found that the implant was perfect for me and I have a couple of friends who agree. If you find that taking the pill is hard to remember, or even if you want something that's a little more worry free then this is probably what you're looking for. Then again, I have yet to have to have mine removed - maybe it'll be a different story then!

If you want to know more head over to the NHS choices website, where you can look at information on all types of contraception and find out more information!

Finding a Decent Guy

The other day I sat down with one of my housemates and we realised that, despite having different tastes in men, we still have core values or qualities that we'd like a guy to possess. It reminded me of a while back, when I was scrolling through tumblr and I came across a hilarious post on 'fuckboys' (excuse her french but, I mean, she has a point). So I decided to write a blog post, perhaps misleadingly titled, because I want to help you to spot the dodgy guys, the ones you should probably avoid at all costs.

I've already found the man of my dreams

THEIR MOTHER. If they treat their mother badly but still expect her to do everything for them, they're not worth your time. You can easily learn how a guy will treat you from how he treats his mother. In fact, you can easily learn how a guy will treat you from how he treats any other women, or other people in general. Watch how he treats waiters, barmen, pizza delivery drivers, taxi drivers, even his friends, if that makes you uncomfortable it's probably a tell-tale sign of his true personality.

THEIR PAST. Listen to how they speak about their ex girlfriends, or girls they used to see. This is a really big indicator of how they will go on to treat you, or speak about you. If they tell you that all of their ex girlfriends were crazy or 'psychos', you may want to think about that. There may be a reason for it... If they're a serial dater, that's also a big no-no. Yes there are probably decent guys who are stuck in the dating game, but there may be a reason why they've been single for so long, or gone through so many women.

THEIR HOUSEMATES. If you go to their house, look at their relationship with house-mates. How they get on with the people that they live with will help to show what they are truly like. Also, the kind of people they live with will probably affect their behaviour. I hate to say it, but a house of 'lads' is probably bad news.

THEIR HABITS. It seems like a stupid thing to say, and I'm not saying we have to restrain ourselves to fit to "gender norms" here, but I like to think that chivalry isn't dead. Guys who offer to pay, go out of their way for you, open doors and are polite are the kind of guys you want to look for. Be wary of those who seem too self interested to pay attention to such things. Nearly every girl wants a gentleman.

THEIR SEX LIFE. Now, I'm not saying you should hop into bed with someone as soon as you meet them, though of course that is your choice, but when it does come down to it, guys that assume that they don't have to use a condom are guys that you want to avoid. If they're assuming they don't have to use a condom with you, they've probably assumed it with other people too. Sex is about conversation and consent, if he's trying to sleep with you without discussing contraception first, he's not exactly a 'keeper'.

THEIR SIBLINGS. Only children as well as boys who were babied are the ones to look out for. If they were spoiled by their parents they're likely to act that way as they continue on in life. You want someone who is independent and self-sufficient. There's nothing worse than a guy who has to return home for his Mum to do his laundry because he doesn't know how to use the washing machine himself.

THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FRIENDS. How they treat your friends is nearly as important as how they treat you. Trust me, your life will be hell on earth if your friends don't get along with your guy. You want him to treat your friends with respect, and for them to like him, or at least see why others could. The same goes for your family, if they don't get along with him, it's not going to be plain sailing for you, but it is also likely to be for a reason.

Everyday Racism

I am mixed race. When I have to fill in an ethnicity form I usually have to tick "mixed - any other mixed background". My mother is Chinese, Oriental or Asian, my father is English, European or White. Both my parents were raised in the UK, my Mother in Surrey and my Father in Hertfordshire. Ethnically I'm of two races, but nationality wise I've always been British, so have my parents.

The first time I can remember ever encountering outright racism was when I was in year 7 or 8. Two girls at school were arguing and I took the side of my friend. The other girl shouted at me to "go back to your own country". I was baffled. I've never even been to Asia. At that point, the closest I'd come to going to Asia was going to China Town, and the nearest country to Asia I'd travelled to was Holland. Not that it even matters. I was British, always had been.

I guess I'd lead a sheltered life. There was only one other Oriental girl in my year, she was mixed race too. My primary school had taught acceptance and there were never any issues. Secondary school was never terrible, I think this is the only incident that I can recall, but it wasn't big incidents that were the problem. It isn't big incidents that I take issue with. It's casual racism.

I get that it's all well and good and funny to make jokes with your friends about particular things. You call them out for their stupid behaviour, you make fun of them for having a fit mum/dad and you joke about things together. However, I do think there is a line that cannot be crossed, and I don't think everyone understand it.

If I want to make fun of my own race, joke about having small eyes, how all tourists are Asians, or about eating dogs, that's fine. It's funny. That's what comedians do - they pull fun at themselves. However, when someone else starts to make jokes about something like that, it's not funny any more. You've crossed that line, and I've started to feel uncomfortable. Imagine someone making a joke about your insecurities - your acne scars, your large nose or your weigh-gain. That's not funny, that's just uncomfortable. Perhaps there is some level of hypocrisy here, it's okay for me to do it, but not for  you. However, this is the same for most of our insecurities - I don't want you to make a joke of something which I am very aware of, but cannot change.

I think that's not all that bugs me either. People talk about white privilege, and I'm not sure I fully understood what that meant, but now I'm beginning to. I think that, as a person who has been described as a banana (yellow on the outside, white on the inside), it's easier for me to voice my concern. There is a culture of us taking things for granted, that's just the selfish nature of humankind, but when that self entitlement extends to issues, such as race, it becomes an even bigger problem. White people (and it feels weird to refer to them like that, having always considered myself as one) don't see the issue. 

I think we believe that there are racists and then there are accepting people. Two categories. You can only belong to one. Either you're racist or you're not, and you can't be racist if you have a black/asian/latino friend. Whereas, I'm starting to believe that it's more of a scale. It's human nature to be afraid of things that you don't understand, or that aren't normal to you. Ethnic minorities fall into this because people are wary of people who are different to them. In this way, we are all racist to an extent. Perhaps racism isn't the right word, because I don't think it's hatred, I think it's fear, but it's the word I'm going to use to put my point across.

And there's another problem that I've realised, and it's an issue for several different races, and that's that my race, my ethnicity is being fetishised. Ever heard of yellow fever? I'm not talking about the viral disease, I mean the growing trend of a sexual preference for East-Asian women. White, Caucasian men want to date 'nice Chinese girls', because they believe that they are better sexual lovers, submissive and subservient, as well as exotic. Vomit. If I have one more guy tell me I look 'exotic' or that he's never had sex with a Chinese girl before, I will scream.

What I'm trying to say is, please think before you speak. Think about whether that joke you were about to make was actually funny, or just poked fun at someone's ethnicity. Think again about the things you say, whether they could be taken the wrong way. There is no harm done in thinking twice, I know I sure will.

Backsliding

Backsliding, as defined by urban dictionary, is "sex with someone you were previously dating or hooking up with. Specifically after a falling out or a bad breakup and tends to make things more complicated." Basically, it describes that moment where you end up in bed with your ex, when you probably actually shouldn't have ever spoken to them again. Hilariously, it can also mean "to revert to sin or wrongdoing, especially in religious practise", which isn't dissimilar.

The do-we, don't-we debate

I think we've all done it, or we know someone who has, and we've witnessed the drama which ensued. Ordinarily, there is usually a reason for a break up, and rekindling that relationship for purely hedonistic reasons, doesn't really seem worth it. And most of the time it probably isn't...

I used to think it was an awful idea, a mistake that one should strive to not make. I didn't think that it could help things in any way, but I have to say that my opinion has been somewhat changed. Yes, there are circumstances and situations where this would help no one because things would get even more messy, but there are other situations where it isn't the worst thing you could do.

For some relationships this can mean closure. It sounds silly but going back to an ex after a break up can help you to realise just why you broke up in the first place, and can help you move on. Of course, there are other ways to do this, and sleeping with them may not be the best way. In fact, it probably isn't the best way, but still, it could help.

Alternatively, it can just end up a big mess. Longing out the end of a relationship minimises your chances of a clean break and ultimately just ends up with more heartache. A friend of mine continued to sleep with their ex for a long time after their official break-up and had no qualms about it. A year on and they're finally done. It might not have been the perfect situation, but it worked for them. Did it lead to more heartache? Possibly, but I don't think they have any regrets.

So, whether it is a drunken mistake or a lonely midnight request, it's one that you should probably avoid. If you know you'd regret it the next day, that's when you know it's not right for you.

Being Single Makes You A Better Friend

I'm going to put this out there; if you're single you're a better friend than if you're in a relationship. Of course, this might not be the case with everyone but I think it's true for a large proportion of people. If you've ever third wheeled, or been ditched in favour of a boy/girlfriend, then you probably already know this. Sometimes couples suck.

Imagine not being able to dance to this with your clique..

1. If you're single you can commit a larger proportion of your time to your social life, this means you get to spend more time with your friends. You don't have to divide your time between your boy/girlfriend and your group of friends. This means that you're pretty much on call 24/7 for whatever your mates might need.

2. You're always up for a night out. You won't ever turn it down because you're sad because you're missing your girl/boyfriend, or because you're seeing them tomorrow and you can't be tired. On top of this, you're better when you are out. You don't sit there sober and moody on your phone desperately texting your other half. You dance, you have fun.

3. You're the perfect wingman/woman. If your mate wants to get on someone, you can get on their friend. It's perfect, and it works every time. You guys can even double date. You haven't got commitments, you don't need to worry. It's a brilliant plan.

4. You don't have to run crying to your friends every time something tragic happens with your boy/girlfriend. Okay, so you do complain about being single a fair amount, but your friends won't ever have to comfort you whilst you hysterically cry because your boy/girlfriend hasn't replied to your texts and you're worried they're going to break up with you.

5. Your friends don't have to get on with your boy/girlfriend, because you don't have one. You don't have to put your chums into an awkward situation where they have to make small talk with them, or pretend that they like them. They probably wouldn't have that much in common with them, and there would always be an underlying competition for your affections. This way, your friends get you to themselves.